Saturday, November 13, 2010

Self-Confidence

Confidence in one's self is learned.  As we grow, we expand our skills through crawling, walking, falling, jumping, riding, falling, scraped knees, black & blue legs from learning to play on the monkey bars.  We find our comfort zone, our place in the world every step of the way.  Sometimes we find that we feel we don't belong, but even that is a place in the world.

Some of us find that we naturally excel at many things we try, and even those that do not come naturally we work hard at to excel.  It becomes our identification, "we excel at all costs".  I find the higher you climb at a young age, the further you have to fall when life takes a swing and connects.  Life is always taking swings, but if you're lucky it does not connect very often, however when it does, the affects can be devastating.  As adults, we believe we can handle either everything that comes our way, or at the very least most things.  We have learned to cope with many things throughout our lives, switching from bottles to sippy cups, the loss of a favorite blanket or toy, stopping sucking our thumb or pacifier, maybe even the loss of a beloved pet or other family member.  But those things happen outside of us.  What happens when it is our own skill that betrays us?  What happens when a typicall excellent student fails a test?  What happens when an over-achiever stops achieving?  That pedastal you are standing on is high and the fall a harsh one.  It can be devastating.

I pose these questions to start a dialogue.  I also posit them to suggest that those over-achievers prepare themselves for the fall before it happens.  As an extension to that, realize that the things that happen outside of you are just that and out of your control.  I heard once you can only control yourself and your reaction to people and events, not the people and events themselves.  But what happens when it is you that you are unable to control?  What happens when you betray you?

Suggestions?  Advice?  Input?  Of course I have some of my own, you evaluate what happened, you decide how to get better and then you do better.  Right?
I look forward to the comments.
Windy City Diva