Thursday, August 5, 2010

Forgiveness of Self

Forgiveness and Gratitude...

I find myself thinking about choices made in the past and trying to reconsider whether I made the right decisions.  I have always believed that a healthy dose of self-reflection was, well, healthy.  I am sure on some level it is, but when it becomes debilitating it ceases to serve a positive purpose.  This is where forgiveness comes in.  If in reflecting on a decision you (or I) decide it was not the best of the choices, though it seemed so at the time, the necessary next steps are to find the lesson, forgive yourself and then be grateful for the new knowledge.  That, my friends is the hardest part, forgiving yourself.  It is much easier to forgive a partner for cheating, or a sibling for being mean or even a best-friend for betrayal, but to forgive oneself, that is a difficult task.  I believe the reason is because we hold ourselves to the highest standard.  We expect highly of others on the same level as of ourselves, but at some sub-conscious depth we expect others to falter in some way and disappoint us.  But do we give ourselves that same break and that same allowance?  I believe not.  I know not of myself.

I have always believed if I thought through the entire decision, wrote down the pros and cons, completed the appropriate due diligence on all options apparent to me and my trusted council, and made a decision based on that information, then the decision must be the right one.  I have learned a new lesson recently, it is not about right or wrong, it is about the "best decision at the time".  Based on all information available and the emotional factors, that makes it the right decision. 

Now I am the first to tell someone that they need to remove emotional facets of a decision as much as possible, though I know that is difficult and sometimes impossible.  But I am sure everyone can agree that while some decisions are strictly emotional, others should not be.

The point of this thought eruption is to encourage myself and others to stop wallowing in past decisions since they can not be changed.  If you can learn a lesson from either the decision-making process or the decision itself or even the result of the decision, fantastic, but the bottom line and ending result really needs to be that you accept the decision you made and move forward.  I will continue on this line of thinking in near future blogs.  Take the journey within with me.

Windy City Diva


  1. What a fantastic reflection to come forth on my birthday. As I sit and refelect back on my grand day and life, I have come to a similar conclusion. The only way to go forward and finish the destiny before me is not to look at the past and to move forward with gusto and a postive attitude. "Well said"... as Ceray stated.


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